Chubby Gloworm

As the weather gets colder here, one Buster Brown, aka Mr. Big, must don his winter attire. Large dogs are not afforded the variety of fashion choices the way smaller dogs are…..this means a dog built like Mr. T. gets stuck wearing a fluorescent orange hunting vest. Sadly, this “coat” made our normally svelte boxer look chubby….a chubby Gloworm to be exact.

On a normal day (one where Big isn’t wearing a coat) my two year old son will laugh hysterically the entire trip to his big sister’s school because the dog is riding in the car. This afternoon I loaded a giggly, wriggling boy into his carseat while an idiot of a brown dog attempted to sit in a Britax carseat. Maniacal laughter and snorting (Buster) was my chorus on the 1.5 mile trip to pick up my daughter. Luckily, the DART (Dublin train) was right on schedule with my school pick up so we got trapped on a side street for 10 minutes and I was able to take this rather fetching pic of Mr. Big.

Busta

I will give you a little background on the history of Buster picking up his little girl from school, so you can begin to understand what we encountered today. My daughter attends an all girls school; all the little girls in her class and both kindergarten teachers know Buster by name (although they may not know my name). The 4-5 year old girls will generally get extremely excited if he has accompanied me for a pick up (or as the Irish say collection). Today was an absolute mob scene….these girls went INSANE when they saw Mr. Big in his brightly colored coat. Literally, screaming and running to him as if he had candy. I was actually late to get my child because of the melee Buster caused.

A classmate of my daughter’s came running up to us to strangle Buster with love and amidst her screams of excitement her mother looked at the dog and said, “Hi Buster! I love your coat, it’s brilliant!” She gave me a quick nod and then the two walked away. Yep, she didn’t even know my name. I hadn’t seen her before, but she clearly had heard of the legend that is Mr. Big aka Buster.

Pretty crazy to think this big, dumb brown dog is known and loved by a group of 4-5 year old little Irish girls who have only heard of his greatness secondhand. They await his school pick ups knowing they are few and far between….what they don’t know is that he is a super jerk and that is why he rarely visits the schoolyard. But today they all got to see him in his glorious, winter coat….our very own chubby Gloworm.

I endured another giggly ride home (no DART this time thank goodness) and as I was about to back into my driveway a huge garbage truck flew around the bend in our complex. The driver screeched the giant truck to a halt almost in front of our house and then the three men inside the vehicle saw Buster. While I can’t read lips I could see the look of adoration on all three of the men’s faces, as they stopped for much longer than necessary to get a look at this giant, orange coated beast. Bust was not surprised at all, as he has spent the majority of his life being admired by blue collar workers…..he is used to the “that’s a good lookin dog ya got there”, or some other redneck compliment yelled from a truck in his general direction. I do believe he is somewhat uncomfortable with the more formal, “He’s gorgeous. He’s lovely. He’s brilliant. May I stroke him?” types of compliments he receives in Dublin. Today’s ogling garbagemen were met with a disdainful glance, angry snort growl, and bulging neck veins as Buster tried to show them just who’s driveway they were in front of. This display of brute strength and stupidity only proved to make the men more interested.

As I bring this post to a close my husband kindly has reminded me that upon Buster’s arrival to Dublin airport an Irish vet met him and the first words out of his mouth were, “That’s a good looking dog there. Is he a military dog?” To which my husband replied, “No, he’s just got really big shoulders and the only coat available was in camouflage.” It looks like Big has two pieces of clothing now….one fluorescent orange coat and one camouflage fleece vest.  It is getting late here so I am off to bed; I hope you all enjoyed this little tale of Mr. Big.

 

H.

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